First Day

Yesterday was James' first day of Mother's Morning Out. I was looking forward to him having the chance to learn and grow this year, taking a few baby steps away from me in the process. We have planned to do the program with one of his sweet little friends from playgroup although finishing up swim lessons had us starting the program a day earlier than initially planned and without our little friend.

I wasn't totally prepared (with things or emotionally) for what yesterday would bring. His tiny little backpack was not back from the embroidery shop yet and I had to label his sippy cup with painters tape and a black marker because I waited a little too long to order his labels. Lesson learned for real back to schools in the future, have everything ordered in June! Honestly it's my personality to shop around or think about it a little too long. No surprise there, but I don't want to feel unprepared in the future.



Of course, I took what ended up being the longer route out of my neighborhood. Since I don't plan on having roofers blocking my driveway or doing mini photo shoots before I leave in the future hopefully time will be on our side. We weren't late, but there in time for drop off. He started playing right away, and I ducked out.

Out in the hall, I was asking the director about coming in a little late due to swim lessons the next few weeks, when I heard James start to cry and ask for me. I know from the gym and church nursery this only lasts as long as it takes him to see a truck or car to divert his attention so I was fine leaving my little buddy behind.

It wasn't until I got to my car that the flood gates opened. One of my (single and childless) friends recently posted on Facebook how she didn't understand why parents cry when sending their kids off to another year of school. Her mom was always happy to see her and her siblings go. In fact I don't think I cried one tear because I was sad, they were all tears of joy.

I cried because my son is growing up to be a sweet, curious little boy. I cried because I've poured every ounce of myself there is to give into him each and everyday of his life, and now I'm letting someone else pour a part of themselves into him. I cried because I love him more than I ever knew I could love anyone. I cried because time is flying by faster than I'd like. I cried because I was finally getting a moment to think a full thought and complete a task uninterrupted. I cried because Josh, his grandparents and I have taught him just about everything he knows. It's so amazing all he's learned, and now he will be learning even more. I cried because I felt a little lost with out my sidekick and partner in crime. I cried because my husband finally picked up his line so I could tell him how wonderful our little boy was. I cried because he's growing up faster than I want him to. I cried because he's delightful to be around 97% of the time and I was going to miss him the next two hours. I cried because he is a little piece of me and a little piece of Josh that God created, and I think he's just pure perfection.

After I finished my Starbucks and got off my emotional roller coaster. I used those two (and a half) hours like I've never used two and a half hours before. Not only did I clean, fold laundry, unload the dishwasher, make lunch, I got out power tools, completely reworked the shelving in my closet moved three dressers around, made a charging drawer in my night stand table and organized the heck out of our master bedroom. It felt so so good to accomplish and finish things, I felt just as proud of myself as I did of James a few hours earlier. Productivity is a possibility for just a few hours a day.

When I picked him up he was so excited to see me and kept asking for more, more, more the whole ride home. He loved it, and I'm so very glad he did.

The roofers woke him up from his nap a little too soon after such a big day. He wasn't ready to go down to play after his nap.



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