Day one was a combo of no sleep and non-stop hormone train back and forth to Crazy Town. When planning on when to have my mom come help us, Josh and I thought more about the transition of him going back to work instead of the fact that both me and baby would need to be cared for. Needless to say, I was 100% worthless and a hot mess on Friday and Saturday. One minute it was the best day of my life then next uncontrollable sobbing-IT WAS AWESOME! And by hot mess, I literally mean hot, I had to have a fan on me at all times.
Our first Peds appointment on Saturday morning brought the news James had dropped below the 'safe' 10% body weight loss, and if he didn't have a wet diaper in the next 2 hours we needed to supplement with formula. It was hard on me, especially since I had spent 6 of the past 10 hours feeding him. We went straight from the doctors office to a private lactation consultant who worked with us for a few hours and sent us home with lots of great equipment including a hospital grade pump and scale that we weigh him on to figure out how much he eats at each feeding as well as a few bottles of formula, just in case. Well it turns out what he “should be” eating didn’t quite cut it for our little man. Half to one oz per feeding is the goal for his age, but he goes for 3-4 oz instead. Why should I be surprised?
I was surprised when our pediatrician called us on Sunday just to check in to see how I was feeling and how baby was doing. I think almost passing out and crying in the waiting room on Saturday morning may have raised a red flag-ha! Luckily I redeemed myself at his one week (a day early) check in today. He's gained back most of his weight and I could mentally function, although still tired. Our Dr loves her iPhone as much as me and showed me some great apps to download for baby-did I say I love her yet?
The past few days have been a blur of pure joy, exhaustion and all the tears that go along with every emotion under the rainbow.
I do have to say, Josh has been beyond fantastic. He has literally done EVERYTHING for both me and baby – including finger feeding him with a tiny curved syringe so I could try to get some sleep. The man who wasn’t going to change a diaper, has changed close to 100 in the past week, my count is less than 10. I’m sure I’ll be catching up sooner than later.
I’m also lucky to have some of the greatest friends and neighbors who have brought us dinner and checked in on us every night since we’ve been home. I’m beyond grateful to Jen who actually came over to tuck me in when all I could do was cry on Saturday. A hot shower, a freshly made bed, and someone who loves you unconditionally just to sit there with you made all the difference for me. We sure came a long way from sharing a warm beer in the backyard of the Beta house at Florida the first weekend of our freshman year in college.
Baby James has come a long way too, but it hasn’t involved any beer – just boobs. My favorite comment from Josh through all this was something about how cute James was when he was eating, he would post a picture to facebooks if we were hippies. So far, no pictures have been posted to any social media sites of him eating, just pictures of our little guy in his bear hat, on his play mat and just being the cutest little guy ever!
We are in LOVE!! Best Valentine’s Day of our lives!
Sarah Beth --- somehow I missed that your new little guy was here! What a cutie he is.....so alert and just adorable. I hope you're feeling much better each and every day. It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't start out so exhausted. Take every bit of help you can get.
ReplyDeleteHe is just precious!!!! So glad he's gained his weight! :)
ReplyDeleteAs many books as you read, it never ceases to amaze me how much work a baby is and they never come with instructions... but it's all worth it, Isn't it? :)
Hang in there-I know those first few weeks are tough, but you'll get through! I had postpartum depression after Parker was born for a couple of months and then one day, the fog lifted and I was myself again. Every mother's body and heart is different so don't be shy about asking for help if you need. It's not a sign of weakness or bad mothering to need an extra set of hands or a few more hours sleep.
ReplyDeleteBTW-the bear hat is the cutest thing I've seen in a while! I just want to get some sugars off of him!
My heart is filled for you right now. The transition to mommyhood can be daunting for sure. I vividly remember waking up on the couch in the middle of the night to a newborn Holder crying (after only being asleep for like, 45 minutes), me leaking, and I ran into the bathroom weeping and yelled, "I can't DO this! I just CANNOT do this!" Well, I did do it, I did it again a short time later, and hopefully I will do it a third time one day. And you'll do it too.
ReplyDeleteTake all the help you can get, focus on feedings and taking care of yourself and let Josh do all the rest. I also found a whole new relationship with God through those tough first weeks and months. He can truly take all our hormones, fears, anger and emotions. He loves you and James so, so much. Hang in there, mama! We'll be praying for you all.
PS- Holder lost more than 10% in the hospital and they tried to get me to supplement. He just had a LOT of diapers and was back to weight shortly after my full milk came in, just like James. Glad to hear he's gaining it back! He's precious.